Doctor Kitty

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There's more to come, don't worry. ;) Thanks for the feedback! :D

The ocean had long since turned black with vile chemicals, but something about the view had a dark charm. The blend of opaque waves with dirty gray sand had an ...

9/10 Loving the art style.

I love the imagery in the last four stanzas, but the third line in the first stanza didn't feel right to me. The "breaking the light" was great, as well. ...

I liked the last line. :D Simple and direct. Music does have a way of capturing the soul, doesn't it? :D

I would suggest maybe trying different rhyme schemes with it. Maybe ABAB or some such. You might like some variations. This forum isn't for amazing literature, it's for improvement. So ...

Mourning actually does change things, sometimes. :P I'd add a third, and maybe a fourth stanza. Both your stanzas repeat the same concept just with different words. Maybe a third ...

I agree with gadi. The repetition makes it feel more like a song. Also, the "waking up" metaphor has been used so many times. It's a good image, but it ...

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